What's going on...?
Well, in my defense (or, better, as my excuse) regarding my extended leave of absence from my little piece of Bloggerland, for the LONGEST time I was having serious issues with eblogger. Everytime I would browse/read/think about the blogs on eblogger, our computers here in the office would get kicked off of our server! So very bizarre. And apparently, based on my survey of other bloggers, I was the only person in the universe having this problem. Whattup?
But you may all breathe a sigh of relief because the aforementioned problem has somehow been cleared up and I am back in the saddle, so to speak.
Been thinking a lot about a couple of things lately:
1) Pride. It influences the choice of clothes I wear on any given day, words I speak, ministries in which I participate, fights I battle to win, things I let go. Even when I'm "good", it's for the sake of my pride. (I've realized that, most of the time, when I'm wishing I were more disciplined or prayerful or generally Christ-like, it is for the sake of being made greater in the eyes of my brothers and sisters! Yuh-uck.) And pride is the opposite of humility. The opposite of a right estimation of oneself (or others). The opposite of a true understanding of who God is. My heart breaks at how captive I feel to my own pride. At how habitual it is to regard others as less important than myself or my opinion as the greatest and best. It's hard to imagine a different way of thinking or operating, but I trust Christ is working in me. I'm just ready to see a difference.
2) Songwriting. I've been challenged by good friends and ministers to explore this area of musicianship. I'm SO intimidated! The thought of songwriting has always interested and intrigued me (in fact, "Write a song" is in my Top Ten Things I Want To Do Before I Die list) but I'm either too lazy or too stinkin' scared to actually DO it. So...suggestions? What kinds of songs would you like to see me write?
posted by Lorie @ 11:48 AM
18 Comments:
You have written some great lyrics. You just need to develop more confidence (but, um, not pride. Confidence. Not pride. 8-)
Cheryl, that is a great idea.
Lorie, I am so relieved that you've posted at last. Although, the comments page on your last post was getting pretty entertaining!
Can you write an 80s rock ballad to be performed by a high school marching band? That would be cool.
As far as the pride thing - I say you should REJOICE because you realize that you deal with pride - it is not just something that you don't care about. God is obviously working in you and the Holy Spirit is convicting you of this issue so that you may progress in your sanctification. Praise God for that!
This is something I too deal with (and I think everyone does), but we really have to remember that sin is first and foremost an attempt to rob God of His glory - and that is exactly what pride tells us to do.
A year ago when I first started Sojourn I asked what was pride. I did not see myself having an issue with that. A year later I am well more than convicted of pride as it is the root of so many other sins.
Lorie,
Good to see you have returned. What I have learned from my creative writing experience is just to keep writing. This is something that does not come naturally until you have a lot of practice, a lot like learning to play an instrument. you will also develop more confidence, as bobby has already mentioned.
Thanks, Paul. And I'm becoming increasingly convinced that it IS a discipline, like anything else. Argh. :)
And J., thanks for the encouragement! Marching band...hmmm..."Remember that one time...?" (What's THAT from, Bobby?)
Chris Farley! Saturday Night Live! What do I win? What do I win?
Seriously ....
Or was it Invader Zim to Dib?
""Yeah...I remember that one time..."
"Hey! You just got here, don't listen to him. He's an alien!"
Dadgum it, of course, I would read your blog today!!!! This is so an issue for me. The struggle of pride as I am walking thru the struggles of missionary life! It is so freaking pervasive! It effects my marriage relationship as it causes me to argue and not recieve from my sweet husband, words that I so desperately need. It effects my ability to reach out to the Albanians, because I don't want to speak Albanian if I can't speak it perfectly, which of course is absurd, considering I have only been here 2 1/2 years. What do I think I am going to do, not speak to anyone for a decade, which MAY be long enough to learn this crazy language? Thanks Lorie, for the reminder that I need to set myself aside and allow Christ to live in me. "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Gal. 2:20 I need to work on implementing that verse in my life. Thanks Lorie.
I printed this on my blog a couple months ago. I think it frames the whole issue of pride in a very honest way. It's from C.S. Lewis:
All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.
I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through;
I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.
Peace, reassurance,pleasure, are the goals I seek,
I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin;
I talk of love -- a scholar's parrot may talk Greek --
But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.
MARIANNE!!! Remember that "song" we made up for that verse? Ah, good times...
Pride....hmmmm. When I was in college I remember getting a card from someone at my church. They made a comment in the card about how humble I was. Then, do you know what happened?!? I became proud about how humble I was and my humility flew out the window.
Around the same time I remembered learning that I also struggled with false humility. I didn't know how to receive a compliment. People at my church would compliment me on this or that and I would reply, "Naw....that's not true....awe shucks...." Well, I didn't really say, "Awe shucks," but I may as well have. Now I know it's OK to simply answer with a "Thanks" and a smile.
A song....hmmmm....I think you should write a song about Cyprus and your beautiful friend you spent time with there by the name of Marianne!
I think you should write songs that deal with the reality of the Kingdom of God being at hand and the certainty of our Lord's return. But make sure you do it with excellence, and with a good beat -- something the kids can dance to. Something that compares well to their sinful rock idols.
This has been Harvey Brown.
You have to allow yourself to write bad songs in order to stumble across the good ones. Not every song you write has to be excellent. Write songs knowing that some of them will be duds. It's a lot less discouraging that way. But the more you write, the more songs you like will pop up.
I think the mistake that a lot of people make comes in playing every song they've written. If, for example, you write ten songs and two or three of them are really good, toss the not-so-good ones and only play the 2-3 good ones.
That's my two cents. :)
j.ro: exactly! That's excellent advice. Admitting that you will sometimes write songs that turn out to be subpar will relieve a lot of pressure. No one hits a home run every time.
Lorie - I would suggest picking up a copy of Anne Lamott's "Bird By Bird". It's a book about the writing process, and though it's about fiction writing, I think you'll draw some inspiration and insight's from a wonderful lady.
Scott
Jeremy Quillo loves that book. Perhaps he'd even let you borrow it.
I've read excerpts of it -- Scott's right in saying you would find it inspirational.
I know what your quote was from now, Lorie King. It was from American Pie: Band Camp. And I'm shocked that you watched something like that. Shocked and disillusioned.
But what do I win?
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