So you homeschool...
While I am fully aware that Mr. (or Ms.) Anon was most likely merely intending provocation with his (or her) seemingly random comment on my previous post about homeschooling being (and I quote) "one of the biggest sins of Christians today", I feel that recent discussion on this topic in my spheres of influence warrants at least some sort of commentary on the subject.
Emily's precipitated comment on this very post is quite comprehensive and apparently expresses the shared sentiments of many of you. I'd just like to add a couple of things and address a couple of comments I've heard.
"Christians advocate homeschooling as a way to keep their kids from being 'polluted' by the world---which is impossible anyway."
True. One cannot keep a child "safe" from the influences of the world. Modern media and commercialism have destroyed any tenuous illusion as to that possibility. And cries have gone up as to the dangers and woes of removing any source of Christian influence from the public school system, leaving Christian teachers alone like sheep among wolves, and damning all their unsaved peers for lack of Gospel witness. Homeschool proponents have asserted that homeschoolers are not taken out of society, merely out of a potentially damaging educational environment, allowing parents to have more control over that to which their child is exposed. Those who have had enjoyable public school experiences (like myself) and those who have come up against some socially awkward former homeschoolers have waved the banner for the valuable socialization that a public school education can provide. I see valid points on both sides of the issue.
My concern is what people "hear" Christian circles/parents saying in their push for homeschooling. The truth is that the quality of the education provided by many schools in our public school system has drastically decreased over the last decades, and increasingly over the past 5 to 10 years. This is due to many factors, both financial and social, but remains a fact. Many parents---Christian and non-Christian---are making alternative choices to ensure that their kids receive a quality education. It's not always a moral statement or stand. And, regardless, there's nothing sinful about either motivation.
"Homeschooling/Homeschoolers are weird."
First of all, historically, children have been taught in homes or specialized groups for centuries longer than a public educational system has existed. So, in this sense, the concept is not weird, new---or even alternative. Certainly not sinful.
And, yes, I've met the homeschoolers that everyone is imagining in their minds when they talk about social deficiencies, etc. But who's to say that homeschooling to blame? We all had weird kids in class, too, didn't we?
Homeschooling is not for everyone. Having been on both sides of the coin, so to speak, I much more enjoyed my public school experiences than my homeschool experiences. Like Emily says in her post, there are children who will flourish in either environment, depending on their personality, constitution and/or learning style. And I believe that there are some parents who should be wise enough to know that they should not consider homeschooling their kids---because they won't do well at it. This is one reason why I would hesitate to do so for my future family. It requires a disciplined commitment and dedication that could be hard for me, unless it's something about which I feel very strongly. And that is the danger of any organization or group advocating that all of its members move towards a singular option. People are not one-size-fits-all and we don't function that way.
I know these thoughts are somewhat random but I'm always tempted to respond when someone makes a blanket, definitive statement, such as "Homeschooling is one of the biggest sins of Christians today." I couldn't resist.
posted by Lorie @ 3:40 PM
16 Comments:
My thoughts exactly, Emily.
Rabby,
Quit yer yappin'.
Ms. King
Homeschooling. Let's break this down on the one main premise which should rule everything in our lives.
Being homeschooled is the opposite of being missional. For a parent to pull their child away from the mainstream of life and culture and world around them is the same thing as working for a Christian magazine, working for the Christian recording industry, etc.
Now, I know education sucks, especially in some areas more than others. And it takes more work (much more!) to come alongside a horrid excuse for an education at school to continue more education at home and give your child what they need.
At the same time, you are validating the bubble mentality. One of the greatest issues facing the church today is that everyone is 2nd, 3rd, 4th generation Christians who are so insulated by their Western Christian mindset that any thought of risk, being out-of-the-box, sacrificial living, and embodying the gospel has long been lost because even in our childhood, it was always safety and security.
I don't necessarily think that the responsibility of parents is to make sure our kids are safe and sound. Or that they have the 'best opportunities they can.' Those are good things, but I don't think they are the best. Instead, I think we are called to continually live in with the flow of God's love through us and extending that to others - in all things.
Instead, here in America, we are so compartmentalized that we can say, "Well, I do extend that to others" and then name a few ways that we do so, rather than seeing our whole life as an area to be responsible with. Our house with a nice privacy fence was never meant to be. Our own personal refuge where we can finally clock out from our good Christian service has never been given permission for.
So...homeschooling? Great people have been homeschooled yes. But that doesn't justify the means. To live for the gospel is the single thing in life to live for. And to understand what that looks like means beginning with allowing ourselves to be broken before it with all of our securities and false perspectives. . .
I dont see how public school is "Missional" and the public school system will not teach you anything missional or Godly.
You can still teach your kids to be "Missional" in homeschool and still have the same as non-home schooled.
Now I do understand much of your "privacy fence" theory. THat is true. At times we do tend to build up a great fortess away form the world in our homes. Home is where the heart is afterall. But I do not see this as a "homeschool" issue. That is a contemporary american issue.
As Christians in general, in today's world, yes we may be searching for security while christians serving across the world risk their lives every day...yet not to the same scale the same thing happens in some areas here where one would rather have homeschool.
But yeah I see where you are coming from in most of your talk, but I do not see homeschool as bad. As Emily said it's not for everyone. Coming from an overprotected conservative family/town into East Nashville public school, I so wished homeschooling was an option. But it wasn't in thecards as it was hellish until after I graduated years later. ANd there was nothing Missional about it whatsoever. Nothing Gospel or anything.
School is one thing, living for the gospel is another. If we are strong in our faith and our walks and if it is GOD's plan they can both be the same.
One thing I see as a fault of so many today, myself included, is being judgemental...as this could be God's plan and deeming homeschooling good or bad is a bad practice. Also homeschooling is an age honored tradition as so many for so many years learned from families before schools were invented.
I think what the masked person is saying regarding being missionally minded is that the parents should be so, since schools obviously need Christian influences.
This is a case of reaching too far, in my opinion. Of course we are to live out our mission, in every way, in all that we do. But I give my kids food because they need food. And I send them to school because they need an education. I don't think we should make pawns of our children. Teach them, for sure, to be missional, but let's not get so caught up in proving that Christians should be "out there" witnessing for Jesus that we neglect their schooling.
I send my kids to public school. I home-schooled my eldest for a year. He did okay -- actually he was quite a bit ahead when he went into public school -- but I determined that it was in his best interest to go to school. I won't go into all of that here, but anyway, I think it is irresponsible to make a blanket statement urging all Christians to send their kids to public schools, just as I cringe when I hear them say we must home school them or send them to private schools.
As in many things in life, the responsible course is between the lines -- don't cross into the oncoming lane, but don't end up in the ditch either.
I don't know that I really get that either - this notion that a 'balanced' life is what God wants. Where did that notion really come from. The idea that I am supposed to have certain boundaries to protect my personal time and then my professional 'serving' time. Or that I should have the right balance in choosing to be missional in all of these ways except this one because my kid will get a bad education.
Obviously, balance is good in the some things but I am just challenging the notion that it should be the flag waved every time.
A blanket statement is dangerous. You are right in that one. But I think homeschooling is an instance where you can make this claim. To make an argument by saying "well, I was homeschooled and..." is one that shouldnt even be listened to. Using the experience of one to shoot down an idea meant for a grander scale is just not worth hearing.
Now...private school. That is definitely not a blanket statement. At least there are other people there and whether is something is labeled 'Christian' or not doesnt mean it is (see America, a Christian nation). Being missional could happen in a parochial school or public school.
The idea is this - staying at home with mom and/or dad, regardless if your parents mated like bunnies and you have 10 'classmates' that are your siblings - that really doesnt matter. That isnt missional. And sure you can take your kids to some community homeschooled gym class and be missional there. Or, we can quit making excuses, feeling guilty about our own backgrounds or habits, and just see things for what they really are.
I know this sounds incredibly closed minded. At the same time, this is really something that is not 'well, you just take it case by case and its okay for me and not you'. This is a blanket sin in America today.
Interesting...so we all agree that blanket statements are bad. :)
And interestingly enough, I've also been thinking lately about the whole idea of balance---where the modern mantra comes from and just how true/biblical it is. I think that we are biblically called to hold in balance some things in life---like accountability with grace and justice with mercy. But there are lot of things in this life that we have to hold in tension, not in balance---like being in the world, but not of it, or being holy but being made holy. And that extends to more practical things, like loving "self" and loving others---nowhere in scripture do we read "take care of 'Number 1' so you can adequately take care of everyone else."
Well said, Emily.
Now as to Lorie and Invisible: I didn't use the word "balance." But frankly the shade of meaning between living in "balance" and living in "tension" is of such fine degree that I'd say 99.9% of humanity would say "tomato/ tomahto."
When I refer to the responsible course in life being one of pragmatism and prudence (and lets not forget that Paul and Jesus were often very pragmatic)I do not mean "let's compromise with the world and give God a certain portion." I mean, as I indicated, "Let's take a responsible look at scripture." For instance, let's avoid false either/ or dichotomies. Let's not say, on one hand, "Christians must not listen to secular music." But let's not go to the other extreme of "Let's glory in a bunch of songs that are advocating a sinful lifestyle."
Or, for instance, let's neither say "It is a sin for Christians to leave their kids in public schools" or "it is a sin to homeschool your children." Such statements are usually made by firebrands who, while certainly exhibiting a holy passion that we should all strive for, and while often displaying a nice chunk of book knowledge, are often lacking in experience.
Anonymous: I am actually much closer to your position than to those who want us all to circle the wagons and withdraw from public schools. I also think you state your case well. I still say it is too much to say that Christians who home-school are sinning by doing so.
Finally: although we should always be missional, there are tons of activities we do every day that, if we use the "kids must be sent to public schools" standard of missional living, are going to run into intellectual trouble.
What if we have a family who, say, always eats a nice home-cooked supper together in the privacy of their own home? How is that missional, according to a definition of "missional" that would prohibit all forms of schooling other than public education? Shouldn't the only righteous form of supper be one in which the family eats at public diners all the time?
ok, i've glanced through everyone's wordy comments, so forgive me if i take anybody's comments out of context.
parents sending their kids to public schools does not promote any missional work. who is to say that their children have legitimately accepted Christ as their savior. so i see that an invalid point. i know i wasn't taking anybody through the "Share Jesus without Fear" program when i was in the second grade. so unless the kid is a natural bible thumper...
as for the bubble theory, please! bubbles exist in both private AND public institutes. everybody has their bubbles, and sending your kids to public schools can potentially make them more "clickish." since social status is the dominate rule in student cultures.
there is a huge difference between morality and public issues. (with a few exceptions) for me to say, "premarital sex is a sin for some but not for others," would be wrong. but homeschooling is a public issue, not forbidden by scripture, and therefore cannot be imposed on any individual in any case.
plus parents who send their children to public schools tend to not have ANY involvement in their children's education. which in turn puts more pressure on teachers, which in turn keeps the children who need more personal attention from getting it.
so all of a sudden it is a sin for parents to care about their children's education? no other solution has been presented, so right now it's either public school or home school. everything has its positives and negatives. one set rule is not for everyone, and unless your name is god, saying something is a sin that is not really a sin is blasphemous.
I must say, I do disagree with this statement: But frankly the shade of meaning between living in "balance" and living in "tension" is of such fine degree that I'd say 99.9% of humanity would say "tomato/ tomahto."
There is a HUGE difference between living in "balance" and living in "tension". Balance denotes a place of comfortable middle ground or the acheivement of a certain harmony (and I'm not speaking here in terms of physics, but the understood meaning and connotation of these terms). Tension, on the otherhand, denotes a certain amount of strain or discomfort. So they are not merely a shade of nuance apart.
But, bigger than that, (and not to cut the discussion short), I DO think this is an area on which we can agree to disagree. The point remains that we are called to be in the world, but not of it. On this much we would agree. What that looks like for/in each, individual, family, city, country and culture may be different. But, without a doubt, we are commanded to be missional ("Go ye, therefore,...").
Obedience to that command is more about intentionality and heart than actual prescriptive measures. The mere presence of believing families within the public school structure does not ensure that missional activity is taking place, just as the absence of a family from the public school structure does not indicate that they are unengaged in missional activity.
Of course we can agree to disagree. No hard feelings. This is a good discussion.
I didn't say there wasn't a difference between "tension" and "balance." I said most people wouldn't know what you're talking about. And even after you've explained your point, I'd have to say, my point remains that I'm not talking about achieving a "balance" between living as Christians and living comfortably within the world. I'm saying that I believe the responsible, Biblical, position is a middle ground between "Thou shalt not send thy kids to school" and "Thou shalt not home school."
We have all shared, we are all unswayed, we have shared. Yes Agree to disagree sounds great to me
No, Tom. Everyone must agree with me.
8-)
No bobby I tend to disagree with you!
You have a very popular blog!!! I found you from Brittneys, who I found from Kate. It is great you get so many people to respond! I would like to start one but I know I would not have anyone reading.
I seems like the question to me is this, When did God give government the duty to teach my kids?
God gave parents that duty.
I would say government teaching and raising my kids is out of the picture but I do have a choice to homeschool or send my kids to a good private school, preferably a school that has a classical education model.
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