Pointless pride...

So I've been thinking about how prideful I am. How ready to see the good in me and the bad in others. How ready to excuse the bad in me and the good in others. All in all, I think of myself as a pretty sensible, savvy and well-rounded individual. Yuck. Regardless of what I say, my independence and self-sufficiency are more often way more real to me than my neediness and fallenness.

My mom sent this poem on email today and it was a very apt reminder of the reality of who I claim to be. And I know these things to be true, though I don't always live like it. I want others to see these things in me.

By Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say ... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow.

To be or not to be...

So, a friend asked me a very poignant question during some mutually-enjoyed downtime the other night. We were discussing our (and other people's) criteria for choosing a mate and he said that THIS was the question I needed to consider:

Am I living up to the expectations and standards to which I hold my potential suitors?

(Okay, he didn't really use the word "suitors", but you know what I mean.)

And the answer to that oh-so-convicting question is "In some ways...and only on good days." Argh.