Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Getting what we deserve...

I got my weekly "850 Words of Relevant" email today and this is an exerpt from the feature article ("Longevity") written by Dan Haseltine and inspired by his grandparents' 80th wedding anniversary. Some of the things here (which I conveniently bolded for your easy identification) were particularly convicting to me:

I think some of our cultural ideas can be poison for relationships. We seem to operate on two basic ideas: what we deserve, and who we can blame for not getting it.

There seem to be more “Christian” marriages that dissolve slowly or end quickly, and I am amazed that even counselors, who are provoked in their vocation by the Gospel, tell couples that the situation they are in is just too corrupt to be reconciled. I have often wondered what this truly means in light of the Gospel. I look at those who have stood the test of time, and after wading through so many back-handed comments and justifications that dismiss the accomplishment—statements like, “Well, they are just from another generation, a generation of people who stayed together”—I am aware that we just don’t see the Gospel account of marriage as valid anymore.

Look at the marriage of Jesus, the one He has been in for eternity, the one with the bride who sleeps around, never listens, disowns, scorns, dishonors, runs away, intentionally proves to be more interested in anything but her husband, is selfish and bears the children of every affair and the scent of every escapade. It was a marriage that killed Jesus. And it was the Gospel that brought Him back to life to love once more. Jesus endures the worst marriage of all. His bride nails Him to a cross, and there are no metaphors to compare His suffering to what we think we endure.

We will continue to search for ways to be appreciated in our marriages, for ways to be cherished, and if we do not find them, then we leave. Because we are not getting what we want, or feel like we need, our spouse is to blame. We are people who like to move from relationship to relationship, church to church, in search of what fills us, rather than what allows us to fill others. But what we think we deserve by way of our cultural cues is quite different from what we do deserve.

What we deserve is to be lonely, what we deserve is to be isolated from the one who loves us better than anyone else. What we deserve is to never be pushed forward, to never deepen in our wisdom and experience of love and community. What we deserve is to die a dark and disconnected fate. And if we are going to apply the rules of culture today, the only one to blame for not getting what we deserve is Jesus.

Friday, August 26, 2005

A serious affair...

Since the critique of feminism didn't get many of you riled up (not that that's my purpose), let's talk about this question posted by one of my many un-named commentors*:

Anonymous said...
...how bout a discussion on what to do about the situation in Iraq? As evangelical believers, is it ok to disagree with the man on our being there at this point? Some good questions, with no easy answers.

What are your thoughts? Why do you feel/believe what you do about this topic (ie. where do you find support for your opinion/argument)?


_____________________________
*For the record, I would love for you people to post your names. You don't have to be a member of eblogger---just sign your name as a courtesy. Thanks. :)

Monday, August 22, 2005

Feminism = Folly...?

I found this interesting quote from the book The Feminist Mistake by Mary Kassian on the website for the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (www.cbmw.org):

"Feminism has failed miserably, and ironically it has exacerbated the very problem it set out to resolve," she writes. "Instead of promoting healthy self-identity for women or contributing to a greater harmony between the sexes, it has resulted in increased gender confusion, increased conflict, and a profound destruction of morality and family.

"It has left in its wake a mass of dysfunctional relationships and shattered lives. People of this culture no longer know what it means to be a man or a woman or how to make life work. What has been lost will not easily be regained. Though feminist theory has progressed just about as far as it can, the practical outworking of that theory has not. Feminism will dramatically affect our society and churches for years to come."

Thursday, August 11, 2005

If you want to know more...

...about me, then here you go. Random facts:

36 Things About Me

1. I'm the oldest of three children.
2. I like the smell of coffee better than the taste (but like to drink it, too).
3. It's really, really hard for me to settle on a "favorite" anything.
4. I like to sweat, which is why I don't mind hot weather or working out.
5. If I had a million dollars I'd probably spend most of it on me.
6. I love Indian food.
7. Elderly people kind of make me nervous.
8. Sometimes I wonder if I'll be a good mom.
9. I'm not ticklish---at least not like most people.
10. I love when someone lightly scratches my back or plays with my hair.
11. I buy a lot of products just because I like the packaging.
12. I've always wanted people to think that I smell good.
13. My ninth grade school experience was traumatic.
14. I love kissing.
15. I was totally into Barbie.
16. My hair hasn't always been curly. It went curly when I was 16.
17. I think cabbage is yummy.
18. I love Doritos.
19. I'm kind of afraid of falling.
20. I love being in the water.
21. I definitely prefer showers to baths.
22. I grew up in the central Western part of Brazil because we were missionaries.
23. After college, I lived in Cyprus for two years. No one ever visited from the States, so sometimes it feels like a two-year window of lost time.
24. Few things actually gross me out.
25. I've been on 5 of the 7 continents and in over 26 countries.
26. Swiss Cake Rolls are my favorite Little Debbie snack.
27. I've always wanted to be married.
28. I hate playing basketball.
29. I love to hear other people laugh.
30. I love that just my laugh can make my youngest brother laugh.
31. I love to see elderly couples holding hands.
32. Stress makes my neck and shoulders tense up.
33. When I'm old, I want young people to think I'm cool.
34. I've heard God speak to me in clear and distinct words.
35. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
36. I always wished I had been born in "the Old Days" so I could live the prairie life.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

So you homeschool...

While I am fully aware that Mr. (or Ms.) Anon was most likely merely intending provocation with his (or her) seemingly random comment on my previous post about homeschooling being (and I quote) "one of the biggest sins of Christians today", I feel that recent discussion on this topic in my spheres of influence warrants at least some sort of commentary on the subject.

Emily's precipitated comment on this very post is quite comprehensive and apparently expresses the shared sentiments of many of you. I'd just like to add a couple of things and address a couple of comments I've heard.

"Christians advocate homeschooling as a way to keep their kids from being 'polluted' by the world---which is impossible anyway."
True. One cannot keep a child "safe" from the influences of the world. Modern media and commercialism have destroyed any tenuous illusion as to that possibility. And cries have gone up as to the dangers and woes of removing any source of Christian influence from the public school system, leaving Christian teachers alone like sheep among wolves, and damning all their unsaved peers for lack of Gospel witness. Homeschool proponents have asserted that homeschoolers are not taken out of society, merely out of a potentially damaging educational environment, allowing parents to have more control over that to which their child is exposed. Those who have had enjoyable public school experiences (like myself) and those who have come up against some socially awkward former homeschoolers have waved the banner for the valuable socialization that a public school education can provide. I see valid points on both sides of the issue.

My concern is what people "hear" Christian circles/parents saying in their push for homeschooling. The truth is that the quality of the education provided by many schools in our public school system has drastically decreased over the last decades, and increasingly over the past 5 to 10 years. This is due to many factors, both financial and social, but remains a fact. Many parents---Christian and non-Christian---are making alternative choices to ensure that their kids receive a quality education. It's not always a moral statement or stand. And, regardless, there's nothing sinful about either motivation.

"Homeschooling/Homeschoolers are weird."
First of all, historically, children have been taught in homes or specialized groups for centuries longer than a public educational system has existed. So, in this sense, the concept is not weird, new---or even alternative. Certainly not sinful.

And, yes, I've met the homeschoolers that everyone is imagining in their minds when they talk about social deficiencies, etc. But who's to say that homeschooling to blame? We all had weird kids in class, too, didn't we?

Homeschooling is not for everyone. Having been on both sides of the coin, so to speak, I much more enjoyed my public school experiences than my homeschool experiences. Like Emily says in her post, there are children who will flourish in either environment, depending on their personality, constitution and/or learning style. And I believe that there are some parents who should be wise enough to know that they should not consider homeschooling their kids---because they won't do well at it. This is one reason why I would hesitate to do so for my future family. It requires a disciplined commitment and dedication that could be hard for me, unless it's something about which I feel very strongly. And that is the danger of any organization or group advocating that all of its members move towards a singular option. People are not one-size-fits-all and we don't function that way.

I know these thoughts are somewhat random but I'm always tempted to respond when someone makes a blanket, definitive statement, such as "Homeschooling is one of the biggest sins of Christians today." I couldn't resist.